i'd like to thank i wish i was a butterfly for tagging me =)..thnx alot sweetie i was really glad

كنت طالب شاطر في المدرسة؟

بصراحه مش اوى مش لدرجه التفوق بس كنت بذاكر يعنى و بجيب مجاميع حلوة بس مش داحيحه يعنى لانى بكره الحفظ و المشكله ان نظام التعليم عندنا بيمشى بالحفظ بس, هوه انا فى تانيه ثانوى جبت مجموع مهبب بس كان بسبب الصحوبيه بعيدن حولت فى تالته ادبى و ذكرت جامد مع انى بكره التاريخ...و الحمد لله زدت حاوالى 10 % و ده رفعلى المجموع اوى و بصراحه انا حاسين انى فخوره بنفسى جدا لا ن عادتا الواحد بيقل فى تالته فى حسيت انى بذلت مجهود و كسرت قاعده

ايه كانت أحب مادة ليك في المدرسة و الكلية؟

الاحياء و انا علم علوم و الفلسفه و انا ادبى

اما فى الكليه فهما كتير شويه:

اولا: كل مواد المسرح زى الديكور و الاضاءة,نقد مسرحى, تحليل مسرحى, فن الكتابة المسرحية

ثانيا:مواد الصحافه و التليفزيون و التتصوير

ثالثا: علم النفس

أكره مادة ليك في المدرسة و الكلية؟

الرياضه انا كنت حماره فيها و بمجرد لما بشوف ارقام بهرش فى راسى :)

فى الكليه بكره كل ماده ليها علاقه بالتربيه

كنت عايز تطلع ايه و انت صغير؟

الاول دكتورة بيطريه

ثانيا مضيفه جويه

ثالثا عالمه فلك او كمياء

اخيرا صحفيه و كاتبه انشاء الله و لسه بفكر بردو فى المضيفه الجوية

أغرب حاجة اتمنيتها هي إني ابقى؟

سواقه تاكسى و مش عافه ليه؟ يمكن لانى بحب السواقه اوى

اسم مدونتك؟

my fantasy world =)

لماذا اخترته؟ و ما هي نيتك من اختياره؟

فى اغنيه اجنبيه بتقول:

i am the princess in there nothing wrong in my fantasy world

tht's it's called fantasy world and the site is vip-rincess which mean very important princess =D

i feel i'm a princess so i created my own world

هل فكرت في اغلاق مدونتك؟ و السبب

لا لانى كاتبه ذكريات حلوة اوى و البلوج بمثابة ارشيف و مذكره زى مذكراتى الى بكتبها على الورق

صورتك في المدونة... رمزيتها

انا كنت حاطه صورت بنت فى لعبه بحبها جدا و بتربطنى بيها علاقه جميله و خاصه بعدين شلتها و حطيت صورة بنت محجبه عجبتنى اوى بس مش اكتر

أحلى جملة قيلت لك في وصف مدونتك؟

بصراحه مفيش حاجه معينة

التعليقات بالنسبة لك. أهميتها

هوه فلاول كنت بكتب و مش بهتم اوى لكن مع اول تعليق كنت مبسوطه اوى و حبه ان الناس تقراء البلوج

ما أحلى بوست كتبته؟ ضع اللينك ثم اذكر لماذا

بدون غرور لقدر الله مش هقول ان كلهم حلوين لكن كل واحد ليه معزه خاصه عندى عشان كل حاجه كتبها فى ظروف معينه فانا بصراحه محتارة جدا و عشان كده مش هكتب حاجه

أحلى مدونة قرأتها

تنفيس لابو صلاح

منمن بنوته

انكشاريات

بورتراوى

نفسى اكون فراشه i wish i was a butterfly

حد قل أدبه في التعليق؟ عملت ايه؟

الحمد لله لا

إيه اللي هيحصل لايميلك لما تموت؟

هاهاها اكيد هيتقفل يعنى

اديت الباسورد لحد قبل كدة؟

ايوة

ايه كانت علاقتك بيه؟

هوه انتمتى عارفاها بس مش حافظها لانى ساعات بطلب منها تفتحلى اليميل لو عندى مشكله

اسمك؟

اول حاجه بتصحى... شمس

اسم الدلع المشهور بيه وسط أصحابك

أووش او سوشى

مجال دراستك؟

الاعلام التربوى

شخصيتك... نوعها ايه؟

انا بحس ان فيه و كل حاجه مش عارفه ازاى يعنى ساعات بكون برده اوى و ساعات بكون حساسه جدا و ساعات بحس انى لذيذه و ساعات بحث انى سخيفه بس حاجه اكيده الناس اجمعوا عليها و هى انى طيبة الحمد لله بس مش لدرجه الهبل

مودك ايه؟

عادتا بتأثر بالناس الى حوليا

بتعمل ايه في وقت فراغك؟

بكتب

بقرأ

بتفرج على فيلم

قاعد على اللاب توب

بعزف او بغنى

بخرج

الأكلة المفضلة؟

الشعريه الطويله noddles

البطاطس المحمرة

السفر بالنسبة لك؟

بحبه جدا و نفسى الف العالم

و بحب طريق السفر الطويل اوى

صفات أخدتها من بابا

الطيبه و احترام الجميع و الذوق و الكرم

صفات أخدتها من ماما

الكتمان و انى اكون اجتماعيه و الحنيه

أكتر 6 حاجات بتكرهها

السرقه : و دى ليها قصه طويله اوى صعب احكيها دلوقتى

الكدب

الغش

الصوت العالى و الزعيق

الاذلال المعنوى

الشتايم

أكتر 6 حاجات بتحبها

الجنون

العب و العرايس

افلام الكرتون

قيام الليل

الصور

الموسيقى

الشغل بالنسبة لك

هوه اساس وجودى على الارض سواء شغل شغل او شغلى كا أم

ايه الكمبيوتر و النت بالنسبة لك؟

واخد جزء كبير اوى من يومى و انا اتبسط اوى لما جبت اللاب توب لانى حسيت بخصوصيه فا بحبه اوى اوى اوى

تمرر التاج لمييييين؟

ابو صلاح

عبدالرحمن ابو بكر

أنكشارى

واحده متفزلكه

Colg wasn't like everyday...i missed my colg best friend and dear sister mona =(...she's sick so she couldn't come.

and really i felt so sad coz she wasn't around...i really felt i miss her alot

she always make me laugh out loud!, the funniest gurl i've ever met =D

i really hope she'd recover soon so she can come...MISS HER

i felt i wanna cry...most of ppl at colg r my frineds..

but i have only 2 who r so close to my heart...2 tht i hate to go to colg when they r not there.

i'll pray for her...

miss u dear =( tegy bel salama isA

You, me and the broken hearts

For all the hearts that been broken
For all the tears that been shed
For all the souls that been falling
For all the lies that been said

For all the dreams that faded away
For all the love that can never stay
For all the times we tried
For all the years we lived and smiled

For all the pain you caused to me
For all the passion inside of me
For all the wishes I wished for us
For all the people I no more trust

For all the scars in her and me
For everything you turned to be

It’s time to heal and change my life
It’s time to cut your picture with a knife

It’s time to leave all the past behind
It’s time to get off the dark, long night

It’s time for you , her and me
To move on
And forget the word “HE”



Sunshine (20)

The best time i usualy spend is with my life comapnion "Nano". yesterday was so weird for both of us we cried alot then we went mad and laughed like hell.

i can't deny tht we both have some misunderstanding btween eachothers but it's ok we are humans =D and i feel it's kinda boring if we had the same characters like mirror...

anyways

as i said, yesterday was weird...we were ending our misrable era and starting a new life...

facing our past and healing it with our love for eachothers...

and both of us were comfort by our man and brother Ahmed =)...

the 3 of us r so nuts =D we were friends since 8 yrs ago...we do all the crazy things togther, i feel as if we r a real family...sometimes i wish if i can spend the rest of my life living with them...loving eachothers and caring for eachothers.

althought yesterday wasn't exactly as i hoped at all...but maybe it's time to turn the page and start writing a new one...

tht wht i do for living...writing...but i still can't write in my book of life.

i hope this can be an end and a start.

Today was so weird! I met one of my very best and dear friends ever =).

I never thought I’d meet her coincidence in the CTA.
I was sitting in the front seat with my best friend on our way to Mahaad El awarm, when I saw Ingy getting into the CTA…

I was puzzled!! I was like OH MY God I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S U! , the thing is I was just thinking abt her on the way and decided to call her when I get home…empathy is really working well with me lol.

I found my self screaming her name INGY INGY, and we both were stunned lol.
As I wanted her to sit beside me I asked my colg friend if I can sit on her leggs for a while =D.
I really missed her so much…and till now I can’t believe I saw her!
We talked and talked and kept staring at eachothers as if been yrs.
I was so excited as the beginning of my day and off course I couldn’t let her leave without taking a pic for her.
She also introduced me to a friend of her and told tht her friend was a fan of mine! She gets teenstuff and read my poems…she even search for my poems by name in each issue…
She said “ I’m so happy to meet u , I love ur poems ur so gr8 msA, and u sometimes makes me cry too , really I’m so so glad”
I blushed :B
In my life I never knew I was known..i never knew tht anyone really reads my poems..and OH MY GOD I have fans?!
We talked for a while and I was happy to know tht there ppl who believe in me..ppl I don’t know and never met…
Tht made me overwhelmed!!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After Ingy and her friend get down for their station…we were on our way to mahaad al awram….
Then after sometimes we got there and I saw the rest of our friends waiting out side…then we entered the place…and honestly I was kinda shaking and my heart started to beat little bit faster…I was worried abt my reaction.
The place wasn’t as bad as I thought…it wasn’t so crowed , but it was in action all day.
Big halls with seats, a cafeteria in a corner for tea and coffee, and little place selling some sandwiches…
Everyone was kinda silent…sitting , drinking and waiting…

I hate waiting..

Then I noticed some ppl carrying their kids..even old kids like 12 yrs old…
Kids were both gurls and boys…little gurls putting on small hats or veils.
Boys wearing caps..sometimes without…there was just no hair..

The building is so huge abt 6 floors or something…we went to the 4th and 5th floor were we visited some chambers and a new library they r going to open by nxt week..
And again there was a medium halls with seats…

Again many parents outside sitting…some sitting on the stairs…some one the ground..even some were sleeping on their bags *some ppl came from long distance*
We didn’t enter any of the kids chambers..
but ..
I glanced and felt pain all over my body…I felt the pain of needles , pills and chemical medication…
There were many ages…starting from 1 yr old till 18 yrs old…

I looked at the parents for a while…they were all sitting..waiting for the unknown , crying without tears…

That was hard…and when we were abt to leave…I started to tear…

well i thought abt riting abt myslef and thnx to who suggested and supported me =Dactually it can be like my biography...so here it is my 1st biography ever in my blog =)

Name: Shams Ahmed Mohamed Mostafa El-Hewify
Nickname: SunShine =)
Date of birth: 29th june 1987
Home: raised in Imbaba, giza had a life time in Zamalek living in 6 october
Studies:Faculty of Specific Education , Mass com. dep.

about myself:
I'm a poet: i love poetry and write english poems
I'm a writer: i love writing, it's the only thing i can do well *i guess*
I'm a musician: i played violin and now playing bass guitar
I'm a reader: i love reading novels soemtimes books, i love reading abt metaphysics.
I'm a human being: i think ppl r all humans no one's higher than anyone we r all gonna die, i hate humilation and stealing most.

i'm looking forward to be the best muslim journalist and take noble prize, i'll also have my own magazin someday isA..
i will

i love animals
i adore dogs as pets they r the best animals =)
i hate cats ans pigs i adore music...english mostly and all kinds of music starting with romantice and pop ending with rock and metal
i like movies...esp. comedy and horrer
i like learning abt super natural powers *ESP* and all the metaphysics world and i'm kinda getting good in it and even rit articles abt it
i like trying new things and everthing *almost*

most people tell me tht i'm empathatic, i have strong empathy ability lol and it's something i'm proud of...feeling others is a gr8 bless =)


i guess tht's all for now..dunno wht else to say if i remembered anything i'll edit isA =)
thnx alot for reading

y do i get the feeling tht i'm losing everyone around me?...

plz...

don't give up on me...i don't wanna be alone...plz

i don't want to pretend happiness anymore...i want to feel it

i wish i can stop crying...fed of it...

WHERE THE HELL R U!

just stay with me!!! it's not alot to ask for!!!!

I WANT TO GET THE DEVIL OUT OF MY MIND!!!!

I PROMISE MY NXT POST WILL BE BETTER THAN THT !

I was thinking during the past few days...was blog made for personal stuff or general stuff...like y would i rit abt myself? who on earth would care to read abt my crap??
shouldn't i rit something useful instead?
umm....maybe riting abt myself is nonesense but i still got a point!....i mean maybe i don't rit impressing things ...but once in a while someone can get anything from it.
my mind is numb now..i can't think of anything...am not sure of wht i'm riting...
rn't i babling now?

ok i'm going...

Well I couldn't tell you

why she felt that way,She felt it everyday.

And I couldn't help her,

I just watched her make the same mistakes again.

What's wrong, whats wrong now?

Too many, too many problems.

Don't know where she belongs,

where she belongs.

She wants to go home,

but nobody's home.

That's where she lies,

broken inside.

With no place to go, no place to go,

to dry her eyes.

Broken inside.

Open your eyes and look outside,

find the reasons why.

You've been rejected,

and now you can't find what you left behind.

Be strong, be strong now.

Too many, too many problems.

Don't know where she belongs,

where she belongs.

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.

That's where she lies, broken inside.

With no place to go, no place to go,

to dry her eyes.

Broken inside.

Her feelings she hides.

Her dreams she can't find.

She's losing her mind.

She's fallen behind.

She can't find her place.

She's losing her faith.

She's falling from grace.

She's all over the place!

nobody's home by: Avril lavigne

i prayed tht today i'd feel better..and when i was abt to recover , it changed my whole day..i felt worse...i felt crumbling..

the worst of all it made me tear again... i thought there were no more tears

but it staped me...so hard...right through the heart.

i have no where else to be...i feel the world is getting bigger and bigger

no place for me in it...no where to run and cry

maybe i just need to vanish ...hoping everyone would b happy tht way

i failed to be anything...

a friend..

a lover...

a sister...

an even a writer

just everything...

maybe i have to go away...or stay away is a better word.

i should stop bothering others...i should stop making them feel sad for me

i hate be "Nekadeya"

am i bad? is it my fault?

maybe i just can't be good in anything...

this aint me...

plz God help..

I know
that when you look at me
There's so much that you just don't see
But if
you would only take the time
I know in my heart you'd find
A girl who's scared sometimes
Who isn't always strong
Can't you see the hurt in me?
I feel so all alone
I wanna run to you
(oooh) I wanna run to you
(oooh)
Won't you hold me in your arms
And keep me safe from harm
I wanna run to you (oooh)
But if I come to you (oooh)
Tell me, will you stay
or will you run away

Each day,
each day
I play the role Of someone
always in control
But at night I come home and turn the key
There's nobody there,
no one cares for me
What's the sense of trying hard to find your dreams
Without someone to share it with
Tell me what does it mean?
(chorus)
I need you here
I need you here
to wipe away my tears
To kiss away my fears
If you only knew how much...

by: whiteny huosten

i went to pray "salat al 3eid ", i was all alone by my self.

the weather was so cool and foggy i can c the dew all over cars, tress and flower...as if the whole world was all washed from sins and starting a new brand life.

i can hear the emam saying "Allahu akbr kabera Walhumdo lelah kathera..."through the mic so loud and strong.

the masjid was so crowed and i hardly found a place...i love the way the masjid looked...so full of ppl , men , women and kids...u can see the joy of eid in there eyes.

some kids had balloons already lol.

i got my camera to take some photos but sadly the batteries were empty =(.

i loved the voice of ppl while praying when they say "Allahu akbr"then saying "Ameen"in the opening all together in one loud voice...how come we r a weak ummah? i woner!.

bk after the pray i walk into the fog again...hardly see anything...i thought for a while if it can be paradise...i tried to imagine as hard as i can the houses the gardens...

i felt i was a spirit flying in heaven...the cool breeze was cooling me.

i take a deep breathe and then take it out slowly.

tht was a gr8 feeling...

I still feel deppressed...i cry but with no tears...but still crying

i wish i can know wht's bothering me tht much, i appreciate those ppl who r trying to make me feel better...yeah nothing worth it..but i still feel i'm in pain

i feel i'm so alone

i wish i can find someone's shoulder to cry on...maybe tht y my tears don't wanna fall...

sadly..there no one there...

i don;t wanna walk through this but i guess i have to, sometimes it's better to face our fears

i'm sorry i'm not feeling ok

i'm sorry for myself

and really wish to get through it

y do i find it so hard to say wht's bothering me? y i don't say wht makes me sad or upset..
y i don't tell ppl when i'm sad from them?
is tht weakness???

i still can't sleep

i think i'm busy thinking...

but wht am i thinking of?

tomorrow? or after?..y do i feel so confused?

i'm afraid to go and walk into my past...i'm afraid to get hurt by the present

"i was me but now she's gone "

am i fading into black?

i should get a new hair cut..makes me feel like a new born

I hardly slept the past few days , but today i totally couldn't sleep
today is the 27th of ramadan..lalylt al qadr..
ramadan went so fast and soon all the demons will be free again one more time

so prepare for the war...

tht reminded me with the quote in the terminator movie "I'LL BE BACK" loool

u know honestly i found out tht there r humans who r worse than the demons and devils them selves...yes... and even deserve more than HELL

anyways i decided to enjoy the last moments of ramadan...no matter wht and no matter who
i want to feel the bless

i want to catch anything before the world becomes up side down again

اللهم انك عفو كريم تحب العفو فعفو عنا

somtimes when ppl say...i'm here if u wanna talk....i care...
do they really mean so?, but wht do they do to prove their care?

nothing...

i hate it when ppl make me feel tht i'm pathetic....don't feel sry for me...

sometimes i hate being online..coz simply sum ppl don't care enf to ask except when i'm ONLINE....

and it goes like "oh u don't come online tht much"

well...it's nice of u to notice tht...but i think when i die...u wont even know it...

u know wht?...

whtever...

life is so confusing..
a moment make u happy
the folllowing make u sad
y do we always seek happieness?
is happieness gonna make us happy?
is there sumthing called happieness?
i don't know...am i happy?
even happieness make us tear sometimes
is it normal to feel ur life is upside down?
is it normal to feel sad without a reason?

i was told many times tht my words r full of sadness
but it's a part of wht inside me
i'm not pessimistic
and i don't know y am sad now

days r passing i'm not feeling with much progress
i feel i'm wasting my time breathing
a bit useless
i'm tired
insane
am i killing myself?



i want someone to slap me on my face so i'd wake up



p.s: thnx for whom stood by me all the nit chatting..i really appreciate tht and sry for wasting ur time =) i'm glad i gained a new friendship

Should i cry or should i smile?

i remembered when i told u...tht we'd be best friends for all the things in common we have. too many things...weird things...maybe it's wht made so close so fast

understand eachothers from a sight.

now..

sometimes when i feel so stressed up...i just wish to run over and cry for u.

i wish i'd call u and complain from everything.

just because i know u'll understand and listen and even make me feel alright.

but...

ur not there...

now i remembered a song, white flag by dido..

I know

you think that

I shouldn't still love you,

Or tell you that.

But if I didn't say it,

well I'd still have felt it

where's the sense in that?

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder

Or return to where we were

I will go down with this ship

And I won't put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess and destruction

to come back again

And I caused nothing but trouble

I understand if you can't talk to me again

And if you live by the rules of "it's over"

then I'm sure that that makes sense

I will go down with this ship

And I won't put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I'm in love and always will be

And when we meet

Which I'm sure we will

All that was there

Will be there still

I'll let it pass

And hold my tongue

And you will think

That I've moved on....

Yesterday i wished to die
i don't know y
but i had this stronge thought of death
wht makes ppl think tht death is a bad thing?
i just felt i'm sick of my self
i hate to feel tht i'm a weak person
i hate to feel tht i have to obay the orders without talking
have to listen and be silent for wht i hate
have to be hypocrite and say wht i don't wanna say
isn't tht weakness?
depression....
frustration.....
for how long is it gonna be bearable?


ان ليك عند الكلب حاجه قوله يا سيدى

nothing else i can say......

حسبنا الله و نعم الوكيل

لو قالولك اختار عصر من عصور مصرعلشان تعيش فيه تختار اى عصر و فى عهد اى حاكم .. واشمعنى؟

عصر سيدنا محمد صلى الله عليه و سلم او حرب 1973 لان نفسى اوى اجاهد فى سبيل الله و اموت شهيده

اول اولويه فى حياتك عيلتك ولا شغلك ولا اصحابك؟

عيلتى

شغلى

اصحابى

ايه اكتر حاجه بتحبها فى رمضان؟

لحظات قبل الفطار و صلات قيام الليل , التمرهندى و الفانوس ابو شمعه و شكل الشوارع و هي فيها زينه

اوصف ليا اجمل فطار ممكن تفطره؟

فطار مع عيلتى كلها او مع صحابى كلهم و فيه اكل كتيييييييييييييييييييييييير و الواحد يشبع يا دوب لما يشرب الشوربه بس

لو انت حاكم على مجموعه من الافراد هتكون عادل؟؟ طب هتعمل ايه عشان تتأكد انك حاكم عادل؟

اكيد كل واحد هيقول انه هيكون عادل بس انا بحس ان الكرسى ده ممكن يغي الواحد غصب عنه فانا شخصيا افضل التنازل على العرش بس ممكن امسك حاجه فالوزارة و ياريت تكون الاعلام

اللى بيبوظ الحكام..نفسهم ؟ ولا الشعب ؟ ولا الحاشية المقربة؟؟
كلهم حاجه واحده بنى ادم فا الكل مظلوم و الكل مسؤل
مين أكتر اعلامي مصري بتحترمه؟

خيرى رمضان

قريت ديوان عمر مصطفى صاحب بلوج تجربه " اسباب وجيهه للفرح" عن دار ملامح و لا لسه ؟؟ لو اه ايه رايك فيه؟؟

لا

لو ممكن تشتغل شغلانه تانيه غير اللى انت بتشتغلها او كنت بتشتغلها كنت تتمنى تبقى ايه؟

انا منفعش فى حاجه غير الكتابه
ايه تانى بلد تتمنى تعيش فيها بعد مصر؟

اسبنيا,المنيا, اليابان او جزر هاواى

اوصف ليا ترتيبات اجمل فرح ممكن تحضرها؟

نفسى احضر فرح اسلامى اوى انا عمتا بحب الافراح الهاديه

بتراعي كلام الناس والقيل والقال؟ لو اه او لو لا قول لى ليه؟

انا على طول بهتم بكلام الناس عنى و عن الحاجات الى بكتبها سواء بالسلبى او الايجابى لانى للاسف مش واثقه فى نفسى حبتين فا بحب اعرف راى الناس

السعاده هى؟

صعب ان يكون فى تعريف للسعاده لانها بتختلف من حد للتناى فانا نفسى مش عارفه بس حاجات كتير بتخلينى سعيده

عندك أمل؟

عندى امل و عمر و كولوا بس ممكن يجيلى احباط بسرعه
لما تحب تهرب من كل شئ بتروح فين؟

بكتب فى المذكرات بتعتى او بنام و بحط المخده على وشى و احضنها و اعيط

لما بتعمل عمل خيرى بيكون ايه هو دافعك الاول؟

انى اسعد الى بعملو الخير و ارضى ربنا عنى

بتشرب سجاير؟ لو الاجابه اه ايه شعورك لو شفت ست بتشرب سجاير؟ وليه ؟

لا

عادى انا بضايق لما اشوف ست او راجل بيشربوا سجاير

بتعرف ايدك اليمين من الشمال ازاي؟

ايدى اليمين بعمل بيها كل حاجه تقريبا

ايه اكتر اله موسيقيه بتحبها ؟

الكمانجه بحبها من زمان لانها اكتر اله عاطيفيه بالنسبالى ده الى خالانى اتعلمها و بعديها على الطول و الجيتار بالذات bass بعد ما اتعلمته عليه

و اخيرا الهارب و الماريمبا و البيانوه

فى رأيك ليه الذوق والنخوه اتعدموا؟

لا مش اوى صاوبعك مش زى بعضها بردو بس يمكن من ضغط الحياة و مرور الزمن الواحد بكون فى نرفزه على طول و خلقه ضيق
ايه الحاجه اللى لو حصلتلك تبقى سعيد قوى؟؟

انى اعمل المجله الى بحلم بيها

انى اموت شهيده

تختار يبقى عندك...ارض زراعيه ولا اجنس عربيات و لا كام عماره و لا فلوس فى البنك؟؟

فلوس كتييييييييييييييييييييييير عشان اجيب ارض و عربيه و كام عمارة اسكن فيهم الناس الغلابه و اعمل مجلتى و مسجد و اطلع حج انا و اهلى و اجبلهم كل الى نفسهن فيه
البحر و لا النيل؟

النيل بليل و البحر الصبح بدرى
مركب و لا طياره؟؟

طارة
مجنون و لا عاقل؟

محدش عاقل اليومين دول بالرغم من ان ربنا سبحان و تعالى ميز الانسان بالعقل
تقرأ كتاب و لا تتفرج عليه فيلم؟

الاتنين بس انا بحب اقراء القصص اوى لان خيالى واسع و بتخيل القصص الى بقراءها
امتى قولت ياااااااااااااااااااااااااااااه انا كبرت؟

لما اخوتى الاتنين خلفوا و حسيت انى بقيت خاله

بتمرر التاج لمين؟؟

لاى حد يحب يجوبه و احب اشكر بنوته (منى) الى قالتلى اجوبه

“So don’t you see?
That I’m truly free
This piece of scarf on me,
I wear so proudly…”

Those words were by Sami yusuf, I love hearing this song so much, and it makes me recall some very old memories…
When I first wore my veil, my hijab…
Back to 2001 / 2002 I was about 13 or 14 years old in 3rd prep school, I was like all the other girls looking forward to get a new short haircut, maybe cool highlights too..
And as for clothes I couldn’t take off my eyes of that baby blue jeans and the hot pink top…I got to get those! That was my main target.
Although my two sisters were veiled, this idea never crossed my mind for a second, I was happy the way I am, I’m a good person even if I’m not wearing a veil, I mean I feast , I pray and everything else…so it’s not a big deal.
No one really talked me about hejab before even my mum which was so great because I didn’t want to talk about it. I was kind of avoiding it when ever it’s mentioned from anyone.
My best friend was the only veil girl in our class, she was doing her best to convince me with it but I was closing all the doors…I never knew why I never tried to listen and give it chance before then I figured out that I was only trying to…hide.
Hiding from a truth and hiding for doing a right thing…yes I didn’t want to admit that.
At the beginning of the school week as me and my best friend were walking way home I found her giving me tape saying: “would you only hear this please? I think you will like it…and maybe you would wear it by the end of the week”.
As I loved her so much I had to take the tape…I kept thinking on my way home…to hear or not to hear the tape…
I decided to put on the tape and give it a shot, it’s not going to harm anyway…few minuets and I started to cry…I closed my eyes…I imagine my self standing in front of God…asking me...”did anyone convince you with praying? Did anyone convince you with fasting?”…I was speechless…no comment…that what I was fearing to hear. That was what I kept running from.
It’s not the man in the tape who made a change point in my life…put his words and his way opened a new door inside my self. A new way of thinking.
I kept thinking…how I love to make anything that could please my mum and dad and how I’m so thankful for everything they gave to me and made me the way I am….so what about my Lord who created me by himself from the first place?...isn’t he the most ONE I should try to please first? Isn’t he the ONE who really made me the way I am?...giving me all I want?...and I still need someone to convince me with what he asks for?....I hated myself when I thought of that very very much…but I thought if God didn’t love me he wouldn’t have let me hear the tape. I mean I had the chance not to hear it…so for the 1st time in my life…I felt love and bliss.
So, I couldn’t wait for the end of the week to wear it, I couldn’t go to school without it at all…although I had no suitable clothes for it or even scarves…but girls can always mange things when they want so I asked my sisters for help and they didn’t disappoint me. =)
I was so excited to go to school with it and see how my friends going to react especially my best friend…
I entered and here it was a very big wooooow in the playground all my friends staring at me smiling and kissing me as if I got engaged, and my best friend took my hands showing me to everyone around…I was extremely happy until I heard something that really shocked me… a friend of mine said...”what the hell you did to yourself!!! Take it off quickly!!! QUICKLY!” she wasn’t the only one who shocked me that day.
I was stunned for a while…I didn’t know what to say…I went home a little bit frustrated and prayed, I was complaining to God. Is that what I get? I thought that will make me much better person not a freak!
I calmed down for a while and started realizing that the way is not going to be so easy. No way is a piece of cake you have to fight and be strong…not to fall down. And this thing worth fighting for.
Many many things came on my way telling me take it off, take it off, I was more like struggling in this world but I enjoyed it because for the 1st time in my life I felt I was fighting for my right as a normal muslim girl.
Actually there were 2 main things i was fighting about, fighting for my veil and fighting against it.
My 1st battle was with people who think that wearing it makes me narrow minded, strict, and not COOL girl, more like hiding my head completely not just my HAIR. I once heard from a guy that he won’t let his wife wear the veil because he thinks she will look like servants and he definitely can’t go out with her that way!
Now I want to ask a question.. Did anyone noticed before that nuns wear the same thing on their hear? Yes they are VEILD with long dresses and long sleeves. Can anyone show them disrespect or call them servants?
My 2nd battle was with VEILD girls. When sometimes I asked my friends about wearing the veil they say…” don’t you see the veil girls in streets? “. It’s a shame how some girls disrespect their veil and even wear it for other intentions. And that how people get bad ideas about veiled girls and some how Muslims in general.
And now I will ask you another question…we can’t judge all people like one, can we?
I’m not trying to convince girls with wearing the veil and I’m not trying to be some kind of new “She5a”, I’m sharing my experience hoping I can open the door for someone…and hoping that every girl would respect enough her hijab, and finally hoping that people won’t think we are empty headed girls…

“Why can’t you just accept me?” she says“Why can’t I just be me?” she saysTime and time again
You speak of democracy
Yet you rob me of my libertyAll I want is equalityWhy can’t you just let me be free?”….


By a proud veiled girl : Sunshine (20)