Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Random thoughts

Choices can be very hard.i've been in so much confusion. i wish the signs can be more clear than tht coz REALLY i don't get it :(.
as my friend told me yesterday i should "go with the flow" i know i'm old enf to take the right decision isA. And i know tht God wont leave me hanging and will do the best for me isA...
God, please don't leave me, please give me some guide to the right way....

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Random thoughts

Yesterday and today r very weird...
a best friend of mine is getting engaged...another one is getting divorced
i spoke to a new friend and i was so happy to talk to....then i had a small fight with another friend and he made me sooooo angry...
and today... i felt so embarresed! i got a groom from work :S omG i wished i would disappear, it all started when one of my friend teachers came and told me tht she want to speak with me, and i found her asking me on our way "r u engaged?, r u in a relationship?". and i was like " :S no?!".
then it all came out..i found one of the parents *who i met b4 coincidentally out b4*
and she simply told me: " miss u remember tht day when we met at hyper one? i had my brother with me and he really liked u alot, do u mind if i took ur mum's number".
i had tht look on my face tht says:"HUH!?". :D and i kept saying things like" mesh 3arfa" and " let me tell her 1st" and things like tht but she insists on taking the number so i gave her my sister's number...i was really to shy to her " no, thanks i'm not so interested".
plus i don't even remember seeing a guy with her tht day! how come he saw me and liked me all of a sudden!
ummm it seems tht alot of things will happened soon (rabena yostor) :S

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Random thoughts

How good can "chances" be?, i think best things come by chance, but do they vanish so quickly after living u in the most amazing feeling ever?.
i still can't sleep and wht surprise me is tht i go to work looking so active.
it's weird how things happeneds all of a sudden.
i wish i can sleep today..i wish i can stop thinking...
will i ever live to b a mother?? and i wonder how i'll b like? am i going to be strict? am i going to b too open minded? or just something in between..
how's my prince charming will look like? is he going to be a REAL man? someone i can depend on, someone who can embrace me? is he going to share mylife and my crazines, to b my other half, to be my soul mate. to make me feel i'm a princess and a little spoild gurl when needed..
r we gonna travel the world together? do activities together?, i'd let him enter my special world and i'd be into his.
i know life wont b too pinky....but i hope we can get over everything on our matter how bad things went...we still have respect, dignity and loyalty for eachother.

dear my mr annoymous...i know tht u r there and i'm not sad tht ur not here yet. i just miss u alot and would love to tell u tht. take ur time u don't have to rush in, coz when ever ur ready i will b ready too, just dont hesitate knocking my door :)
God bless u

Random thoughts

things r getting well so far Thank God =) i LOVE being with the IGCSE esp grade 7 and 8...grade 9 kids r a bit....naughty brings me bk to my highschool days.
as i was correcting some essay today i found one which was so unique and funny =D i couldn't stop laughing when i was correcting it!.
it was by an american student his name is Jibrel , they were suppose to write an essay about their 1st day at school and this is wht he wrote:

"today i woke up at 6am to find my little brother putting on his clothes by my sister...i went to school and we had math the teacher told us abt school and stuff
*then we had physics and the teacher went bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla so i slept
*then we had break and i slept
*and came back and had english
*and the teacher told us to write a essay
*and this is wht i wrote
*"today i woke up at 6 am to..."

seems i'm going to have one gr8 year isA =D

Can't sleep? humph

I wish i could know wht's wrong :(...i hardly sleep at night...i think i had an astral projection for 2 straight days....i wish i can know wht's really happening !
1st i fall deeply asleep then i feel tingles in all over my body and i feel paralised tht i can't move...can't open my eyes...can't say a word.
and if i succeeded in opening up my eyes i go bk to the same thing all over again..
when it happeneds i feel my whole body is too heavy and my heart beats start to b too fast ,i start to see transparent objects. i'm not sure wht r it my body?
i just get really afraid...and feel as if i'm dying.
i wish someone can tell me wht is tht exactly :(.
this feeling is like's too scary but i kinda don't want it to end

Monday, September 06, 2010

Random thoughts

it's too easy to fake others and pretend tht ur ok when ur not.simply coz u r dead sure tht the other person doesnt care ,no matter how many times he kept saying "how r u?" " r u ok?"...
even if u "talked abt it" no one will really undertsand.
i feel my ending is getting closer , doesn't mean tht i'm dying in real life. i mean tht i'm dying in some ppl's's considered as an ending to me coz i'm sure they will never be the same again.
am i ever gonna end up by myself? wondering, where is everyone? what went wrong? and why does everything end up so fast? was it my fault or i was too stupid?
i'm lying on bed coz of sickness...i got very few calls from ppl who were suprised tht i was really sick!.
it's weird tht ppl try to make u more happy when u r already happy, but they never try to make u even smile when u r deeply hurt from inside.
ramadan is almost over, i wish i can get the best out of it in these very few days.

Dear God,
plz forgive me for everything i did in my life...u r the only one i can trust...u r the only one who is there for me all the time even when i went wrong, when all the ppl judged me for being who am i.... u r the only one who accept me they way i am and love me and giving me everything i ask for.
Thank you