As any other girl, I’ve been searching for love. My heart is full of emotions and feelings; I’m passionate and need to get these feelings out.
I wanted to fall in love with someone, and I tried once. But it wasn’t meant to be. I was happy that I didn’t give my feelings away in the wrong direction, and I was lucky to save the ecstasy of sharing my love with the right person, who will come right on my way.
I decided to find love where else, vent the great power of emotions. I looked for another figure of love I went through the divine world, discovered a world where the pure love is. I started to get closer to God, and by getting closer…I deeply fell in love.
As we – human- we tend to get more into the tangible things. Things we can feel with our hands see with our eyes or listen with our ears.
However when it comes to the heart and soul, we start to feel abstract things, moral things like happiness, sadness, love and hate etc.
I once read something that explained the love between the Creator (Allah) and us, and how did the whole
relationship started. It was all summarized in one beautiful verse in suret Qaf that says:
يدوَلَقَدْ خَلَقْنَا الْإِنْسَانَ وَنَعْلَمُ مَا تُوَسْوِسُ بِهِ نَفْسُهُ وَنَحْنُ أَقْرَبُ إِلَيْهِ مِنْ حَبْلِ الْوَر
“We have created man and we know what his own self whispers to him, and we are nearer to him than his jugular vein”
The jugular vein is one of the most important veins, which lies in our neck and gives great amount blood to the brain; it’s very sensitive and most likely what attaches us to life.
I’m not sure of the true meaning of the verse, but I felt that it meant that God is very close to us more than we can imagine, the simile shows how close we are and how much we are bonded…he created us with his own hands, no wonder he knows us pretty well.
It’s more like a mother and a child relationship, we grow up loving our parents because they brought us to life, they raised us up, and they gave us all what we need. We love them for no reason, we love them because we belong with them, and we are part of them.
We r attached with an unseen bond, no matter how we get far our natural instant bring us back again.
When God created us, he made us from earth dust, and then filled our souls with his. That’s why we are created from two parts, a part that is connected with earth and another connected with heavens and as we grow older each part tries to pull us towards it more.
No matter how far we go we always feel that something is pulling us towards God, and yes…he loves us very much he knows us all very well…because he created us, he put something from him in us.
We sometimes cry while we are praying, or when we are watching the magnificent universe around us this is the way we feel the great love within.
I felt love in this duaa:
اللهم ارزقني حبك و حب من احبك و حب عملاً يقربنى الى حبك
“O Allah, bless me with your love and the love of people who loves you and the love of things that can brings me closer to your Love”
I never stop saying this duaa, I became in love with everything and everyone, I felt as if I want to embrace the universe , I spread the love for the people who deserve, my students , my family , my friends, my teaching and my writings and even myself.