Monday, January 28, 2013

Musical Random Thoughts

Ever since I was young I used to play with the Backstreet boys in my neighborhood we were about 5ive. I wasn't found of playing with kids of my same gender especially those Spice girls they used to bug me all the time..
After a while we moved west.. it wasn't very easy to cope with the new Westlife, I heard it was only desert full of Eagles , Scorpions and Beatles but  what I found was completely different it was full of trees and wild plants they even had a festival called Greenday. I became crazy about Cranberries and Red hot chili peppers.
They all followed a certain Creed that they believed in, however a part of me was still attached to the past so I always put all my memories and dreams in a Nightwish before I sleep then I wake up and it all Evanescence. 

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Welcome back readers

it's been a while since i received an anonymous comment =) so i'd like to thank all the people who accidentally passed by and read my humble blog.
when i looked back at why i started was when i 1st got my 1st deepest inner scars, when i was hurt and couldn't vent my sadness, so i started to write in this blog as my venting machine just to let out all my feelings that could not be easily said.
i wasn't really planning to write for public and i never thought that i can have readers and that they would actually read my blog and like it too!
i may not be a superwoman...but i'm here to make a change, may be population isn't really my cause but building human characters is...maybe i don't help others with my writings (as i hoped) but i do that with being a teacher.
i just started the 1st step of my dream and i don't know how hard the road will be, whether i'll continue in this or simply find another passion.
i'm glad that i feel independent and free i crossed all the society boundaries and i don't care about people anymore.
i'll always find a way to deliver my message i was born to,with being what ever i want i will make tht change i always dreamt of. i'm in a phase where i' trying to find peace with my inner self now....i'm learn through my students eyes as much as i'm teaching them life. i just hope to end up as i'm planning it to be if not better because i wont accept defeat anymore.
i hope to keep this spirit and i hope u -my readers- to help me through =) 

Random thoughts

Many of us can be trapped in a shameless ocean, no matter how the little things we do it can still be a big mistake that make us feel like sinners.
i've always been a victim of having self-censure although it is not so bad , but it can mentally kills u from the inside. no matter what i do or how bad i did i never stop blaming myself , and it ends up by punishing myself...not physically of course but i'd deprive myself from something that i love.
apparently it didn't work so fine and i keep making the same mistakes sometimes and again i keep blaming and hating myself.
today when i woke up and had tht bad feeling again i thought to myself doing it the hard way isn't really working..i should probably try something else that would better work in a positive way.
why instead of punishing myself i'd rather do something more useful...something that would make me closer to God and make me stop those mistakes no matter wht they were...
so when ever i do something bad and regret i would do something for God so he would forgive me and at the same time help to get closer.
for instance i prayed one of the sunna and i promised myself to keep it , and if i repeated the same mistake again i would increase it and do something else.
it worked much better than punishing myself =)
may God forgive us and help us to be better Ameen