Friday, October 31, 2008

nothing still the same, everyday we loss someone in some way...everything change around me including still hurts and ppl still break our hearts.
i stop for a while and think...where did i go wrong?
i am a demanding , irritating and sometimes even boring...
i'm sorry....
maybe it's better to leave everyone alone...maybe it's time to step aside to make no more damage...everyone's happy in his own path...
i admit i can't accept some facts....i can't shut up and just watch
so my existence wont make things any good...wont mean alot
i was uasual....
life is still life...
and i'm still babling

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

I can be out of my mind especially when I'm alone, yesterday when I was about to cross the street going back home, I found myself standing for a while I just kept staring at the cars moving so fast. There was that taxi coming far away…I have no idea y I kept standing waiting till it's closer and I wondered "am I going to make it to the other side?"…I was like hypnotized or paralyzed.

So as the taxi was so close…I started running to the other side…feeling the pumping of adrenaline in my veins and sweating although it was cold…and the fast sound of lupdub.

Hopefully I made it safely to the other side of the street *Thank God* and I heard to sounds…one like a human voice saying" u nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuts" and the other was the taxi horn which went along with the voice " beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeb !".

I have no idea what was I thinking! Probably not killing myself, maybe I was only encouraging myself to save the money and buy a car or I thought about avril lavigne's song "nothing but ordinary" where she said "sometimes I drive so fast just to fear the danger" I wasn't really driving…but running is close too

Well isA I'll get the car in few months I won't need to do this again *I hope*

Friday, October 17, 2008

Thursday, October 09, 2008

i've already felt numb long time ago...i don't want to end up feelingless

love can be killed by love... sometimes too much love can choke love that you can't even feel it or end it up..

why there is a dark side of everything...


is it or is it not the dark side that is larger?
this is not the point point is tht there IS and there SHOULD be a dark side, coz without it we can't feel the good one, we wouldn't feel happiness without feeling sadness.
it also explian the theory of GOOD and EVIL, i think life without evil would b boring that you wont be able to feel the good...
i know and babling and non will get wht i wanna say...but tht is coz it's wasn't a good day so far

i apologize if i sometimes seem harsh...but i hate it being's sometime i reach the extreme...sorry that i'm human

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

wooow i finaly got paid for the 1st time ^^...i took my 1st salary yesterday, and felt so gr88888888888
i couldn't stop thinking of how am i gonna spend the money!!!

yaaaaay me!

Saturday, October 04, 2008

i don't wanna sleep coz these bad thoughts starts to appear and when i wake up i keep thinking about them.
i wish i can change them, i wish i can stop thinking about them..
i hate the fact tht i'm tht weak
i hate the fact tht i kinda lost my passion
my inspiration...
i hate the fact tht i'm almost stop writing..even my nonsense stuff