i'm sitting in the dark and don't ask me how am i writing this , my left shoulder hurts like hell and my back is on fire :s yeah i'm not feeling so well...
i need more confident in my self the worst thing is me is my low self esteem...
and here is wht i'm listening:

I'm Standing on a bridge
I'm waitin in the dark
I thought that you'd be here by now
Theres nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening but theres no sound
Isn't anyone tryin to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are but I...
I'm with youI'm with you
im looking for a place
searching for a face
is anybody here i know
cause nothings going right
and everythigns a mess
and no one likes to be alone
Isn't anyone tryin to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are but I...
I'm with youI'm with youoh

why is everything so confusing
maybe I'm just out of my mind
yea yea yea
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are but I...
I'm with youI'm with you
Take me by the hand take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are but I...
I'm with you
I'm with you
Take me by the hand take me somewhere new I dont know who you are but I...
I'm with you
I'm with you

it's gr8 how some ppl still makes me hold on...whenever i'm tht close to shoot myself i find someone to grap my hands and left me up...it's gr8 to feel tht there r ppl who care abt u...feeling care is AWESOME.
so...i'd like to thank who saved the day =)...i wish u'd be there for me 4ever

I don’t know why I suddenly feel upset =( I just went to my bed and slept like a baby…I feel I’m a pathetic person am i?
I’m too small in the world that I feel it’s not really where I belong.
Lost in the nowhere and no other place to go. Don’t I belong somewhere? I wish I can delete all these negativity thought but u guess they have to appear every now and then. One of those break downs.
Till when I’ll be running away as fast as I can?
Till when I’ll be hiding?
And till when I’ll be hunted by my fears?
I feel so all alone

I never wanted the days to pass fast like now, I can’t sleep…I can’t wait to go and lie in bed with my 1st yawning. And I can’t wait till the nxt day comes and so on…
Can’t stop thinking..
I’m afraid to be let myself be happy…sometimes good signs really freak me out. When everything begins to be almost perfect…
I hope that history wouldn’t repeat it self once more…I hope I don’t fall apart again.
Does sometimes it’s no the right time? Or is it just the perfect time for it?
Have a chance…risk…trust??
A part of me wants it but the part doesn’t feel comfortable yet. I’m torn btw both.
Auffffff I can’t study!!! I wanna focus
P.s; I can hear it raining now which is so gr8. Too bad I can’t get out coz no one’s home now. Lol weird I caught a cold though

Today as i was on my way to my friend as usual *where me and my other friends meet , and go together to colg*
anyways i was walking fast coz i was a bit l8 for them..then i found someone from behind calling me...

"anesa...anesa...", i turn back and answered.
"yes".
he said "momkin as2alek so2al".
i was puzzled for a while.."ok"
he asked" hwa 7adretk mortabeta".
i didn't realize the question 1st so i answered fast" no y".
then after a sec i was puzzled...then he answered bk "i just wanted to know".
my face turned into red not from shyness bas from being angry !!!
i then found myself running to my friend's house..i looked bk and he was behind :S...i went up as fast as i can....
i don't know...heya el nas etganenet?...wala i was so attractive that he wanted to propose!!!omG, how am i gonna be attractive while i'm going to an exam , having papers in my hand...holding my bag with another...wearing my baggy and blue jeans jacket...NO WAY I AM THT ATTRACTIVE.
c'mon!!! even if it was true....WHT THE HELL HE WAS THINKING !!!
i can't believe any one who can get married this way!!!