i don't know y r the pills rn't working probably!!! , i can't stand those fast beats i have!! they r so annoying...
maybe i should change tht heart pills....or go to a new doctor?!

u knw wht...

maybe there is nothing wrong with my heart!!

For you...

I wrote you this

Although u r not gonna read it

but u know how i feel

you have been...

and you'll always be...

a very special part of me

it's too hard to let go...

i know..

and you know..

we'll be together

you and me..

forever..

in our hearts...

deep inside...

till one day, when we can be

together..like before

i was talking with my sister , when she asked me.."how is ur romantic life going?". i looked at her for a while then i answered.."umm..nothing..i'm just single lol , and i think it better for me to stay tht way "i loled. she looked at me puzzled,"y would u say such a thing? u r so young for tht". "i don't know"..i answered..."i think i'm not so much suitable for such relationships..maybe it's a matter of trust…fear?..or i just lost my feelings..sumtimes i feel i'm feelingless..am not like before, even when i used to lock my heart...i was waiting for the endless relationship..and my charming Mr. anonymouse...but now i don't feel it anymore,maybe it was meant for me to be alone…”
my sister is still lookin at me with a stunned face…
I tried to say sumthing chilly so I said,”c’monn I have a busy life over here…all I’m concentrating in is my career and future , did u forget tht ur little sis is gonna be the best journalist and have her own best selling mag….and offcourse…I wont have much time when I go get my noble prize!!...”
I felt she was like…*yeah…rit*
But she said..”wht on earth would make u feel tht way abt ur self?”.
“nothing really”, I replied…”it’s just life u know…”, “y do u sound like a divorced woman with 2 kids? Lol” she said.
“nooo , no way I’d sound like tht =D”.
“well u gave me the feeling tht u r a 35 yrs old woman “.
“don’t worry lol, I’m forever young”.
“yes Miss 20!!!”.
“look who is talking Mrs 23 =D lol!!”.
“anyway young lady..i’m praying for u =)”.
“I know…and I appreciate tht…just don’t tell mom abt our little talk coz she might think I’m nuts or sumthing =D”.
“you are =D..but don’t worry”.

:S uhoh…THE FOOD IS BURNING…

Why of all the people its me??? , or am i the one doing tht to my self , so much confusion , so much unknown feelings...

betrayed??
unappreciated??
or just a freak??....

fairy tales rn't suppose to end this way...it's not how it meant to be....

wake up!

WAKE UP!!

y i don't wanna wake up????!!!

Always On Your Side - Sheryl Crow

My yesterdays are all boxed up and neatly put away
But every now and then you come to mind
Cause you were always waiting to be picked to play the game
But when your name was called, you found a place to hide
When you knew that I was always on your side

Well everything was easy then, so sweet and innocent
But my demons and my angels reappeared
Leavin' only traces of the man you thought I'd be
Too afraid to hear the words I'd always feared
Leavin' you with so many questions all these years
Is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are you left to wonder, all alone, eternally

This isn't how it's really meant to be
No, it isn't how it's really meant to be

Well they say that love is in the air, but never is it clear,
How to pull it close and make it stay
Butterflies are free to fly, and so they fly away
And I'm left to carry on and wonder why
Even through it all, I'm always on your side
Is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are you left to wonder, all alone, eternally

Is this how its really meant to be?
no, this isn't how its really meant to be

Well they say that love is in the air, never is it clear
How to pull it close and make it stay
Butterflies are free to fly, why do they fly away,
Leavin' me to carry on and wonder why
Was it you that kept me wandering through this life
When you know that I was always on your side?

If I had one single wish

Id go back to the moment I kissed

You goodbye no matter how hard I tried

I can't live without you in my life

Maybe you’ll say you still want me

Maybe you’ll say that you don't

Maybe we said it was over

Baby I can't let you go

I walk around to understand

Where we went wrong and I can't pretend

It wasn't me, it wasn't you

But I'm convinced we gave up too soon

Maybe you’ll say you still want me

Maybe you’ll say that you don't

Maybe we said it was over

Baby I can't let you go

Nothing left to lose

after losing you

There's nothing I cant take

When I run to you, when I come for you

Don’t tell me I'm too late

Maybe you’ll say you still want me

Maybe you’ll say that you don't

Maybe we said it was over

Baby I can't let you go

Enrique Iglasis : Maybe

i'm not there, but i'm still around
nothing changed the way i felt
and nothing will ever do
no one really crossed my mind
i still can't get over you

i thought of ending up the connection
thought it's working
but still not for me
and this thing graped your attention
made you still remember me

someday you'll know
that i'm only away for you
and eventhought i'm not there
but i'm still around
i'm still with you

for me ,you are always here
i keep you safe in my silent tears

i wish i could be there all the time
in the bad, like i was in the good
i wish it was the way i want
wash away all the pain if i could

but still it's better that way
it's better i'm not there

still, i'm around
still, i care

A BIG SURPRISED HAPPENED YESTERDAY , MY SIS YASMEEN GAVE BIRTH TO THE MOST ADORABLE BABY BOY EVER!!!

OMAR

omG! he's such a tiny cute angel =) , i'm so overwhelemed it was all of a sudden thing. elhumdolelah they r both well.
wht a day!!! everything went so quickly, i was with my bestfriend when i got a call from mom saying " yasmeen fel mostashfa 3ashn e7tmal twled enhrda!! ana ray7alha" , i don't how i put on my veil and RUN OFF like a thunder lol , i caught her b4 entering the operation room elhumdolelah and we stand infront of it, after a big while we heard a baby cry =), mom was almost gonna faint =D (mesh 3arfa leeh fel mawaqef deh mesh bykon 3andi dam 7'ales lol i was only waiting and praying =D while everyone else teared =D loool)
elhumdolelah =) i'm now an auntie for 2 angels ( LOJAYN AND OMAR ) my beloved.
rabena yekrmhom ya rab.
and 3o2ablkom =D

Dear my love,
haven't you wanted to be with me
And dear my love,
haven't you longed to be free
I can't keep pretending that I don't even know you
And at sweet night, you are my own

Take my hand
We're leaving here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only hold us down
So by the morning's light
We'll be half way to anywhere
Where love is more than just your name

I have dreamt of a place for you and I
No one knows who we are there
All I want is to give my life only to you
I've dreamt so long I cannot dream anymore
Let's run away, I'll take you there...

We're leaving here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only hold us down
So by the morning's light
We'll be half way to anywhere
Where no one needs a reason

Forget this life
Come with me
Don't look back you're safe now
Unlock your heart
Drop your guard
No one's left to stop you

Forget this life
Come with me
Don't look back you're safe now
Unlock your heart
Drop your guard
No one's left to stop you now

We're leaving here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only hold us down
So by the morning's light
We'll be half way to anywhere
Where love is more than just your name

it's a strange day...i woke up feeling sad, almost crying...i don't know why but i feel something bad happened or going to....
my heart is beating really fast....tht's a bad sign....rabena yostor bgad...coz last time i felt tht way...my granie died =(
a nightmare.....
tht's bad isn't it, i'm sry to share this bad feeling here but i just felt like i wanna write it up for my self.

it's my 1st experiance on stage, but it was a gr8 one...though it's tirying but it was so much fun , seriously i was dying the past 2 weeks, i go at 8am and come back at 10 or 11 pm !! tab3an kont badele2 3ala el serer bedon ay nekash !!!

i learnt many many new things to do most of all carpentry!! lol can u believe tht! , i have tht pic me sawing a BIG wood loool * no way i'll show it to anyone =D* i colored some of the decorations too...and i had colors ALL OVER ME =D

i loved making lots of things in the play. i made 2 roles with my voice (a little gurl ) and a prince called (Fares)..lol totaly different i know...but it was so great..esp tht day we went to record in the studio!! 1st time to be there...actually it was the 1st time to do everything!!...

the hard part was making the puppets and learning puppetry, till now i can't believe tht i MOVED ONE =) and it was my best of all...my prince Fares el forsan lool , i loved moving it tht i wanted to take it home with me =D really i loved tht puppet, i don't know y maybe coz it's with my voice...

i also made a very cool presentation and they loved it awi awi awi....

besra7a i'm so proud of my self , esp tht our lead told us tht we will performe it in culture wheel and masra7 el 3arayes isA...

the very best part was when my family and friends attened the play...tht made me overwhelmed , except for some ppl who couldn't made it =( like my dad...i wished they were there too...bas isA in the nxt show

I hate it when ppl say " i can do it , i can do it!!" , and just a mint, after..."well...ummm..uhhhh...i'm not so sure esra7a".....BET2OL LEEH MEN EL AWEL!!!!!
tht's wht he always do to us (grrrr)...yes the guy i was talking abt in my previous post!!!.
he is just someone u can't count on at all!!!..all he do is talk talk and bla bla bla talk!!!!....and i'm really sick of this!!!!. can't anyone stop tht guy!!!.

i think i'm the one who should hold my temper alittle bit, this week is so tiring , awful , short and EXHAHUSTED.
i'm tired of the many things i have to do in short time.
i'm tired of how angry my friends makes me.
i'm tired of yelling at them (and dah! they still don't listen)
i'm tired if being asked to do STUFF and STUFF for others
i'm tired of everything...... i need a break.
tired...
tired...
tired....

bas keda for today

I ask my self this question alot...and really wish to ask it to tht person whom i hate at colg, really...enta 3abet yabny ???
i hate to hate someone or even just dislike him/her but tht boy drives me nuts...sometimes i feel i wanna kill him!!.
whenever we talk...he raises my temper and i just wish to scream at him as much as i can....he's a lier and pretender and wht we say here....3ayesh el door we 3amel nafso 7aga.
and i hate this kind of ppl esp when it's a guy...
i already quarlled with him abt 2 or 3 times.....and looking for more...esra7a it's more like...batlakeklo =D
rabena yehedeh ya rab....we i hope tht he MOVE not only from colg but from the whole WORLD.
he makes me so angry and sick.....i'm sure tht one of us will cry at the end of the year =D.
can u imagine tht I GET ANGRY!!!
ufff....i don't know wht's wrong with my blog..i can't sign in from home but i can from aother places :S...hope i can fix tht soon...
if anyone knew a solution plz plz tell me

Hard disicions must be taken sometimes , when u know it will make others feels better...
i hate to make anyone feel bad....maybe what they did was bad , but making others suffer for feeling guilty is considered a terrible thing to make.
that is why i have to make big steps even though it would hurt me after it...
i know i can handle my pain , but others can't tht would even hurt me more.
i'm sure that what i did is the best....
and i still have hope and big faith in God...the one who joined us...can join us togther again...
i wont be surprised....really sub7an Allah... it's true that kalb el mo2men bayn asba3yn men yada al Ra7man yoklbhoma kayfama yasha2.
i still keep my promises...
and as forgiving...it's something that i already did long ago....we r humans...we make mistakes.
i'll pray for a better tomorrow.
and i'm sue it will be.

-annoying people
-talktive people
-zananeen people
-quite people
-mean poeple
-very very very kind people
-cold people
-shouting people
-always angry people
-fast lossing their temper people
-interfering people
-people who hate them selves
-people who keep telling me wht to do
-controlling people
-people who keep insulting
-3ayshen fel dor people
-loud voice people
-poeple who makes me feel i'm stupid
-"i know everything" people
-lying people
-faking people
-aggressive people
-disgusting people
-harming animals people
-poeple who don't think before speaking
-people who misjudge people
-tenken people (esp those who says " yaaaay balady")
-be2a people
-poeple who don't listen to people
-people who always think they are right

-being shy
-i feel i'm always embarrassed
-shouting at someone
-forgiving and not forgeting
-being worried
-being un tidy
-sometimes forget my self and act as if i'm a princess
-living in fantasy
-getting up set if i couldn't make something
-sacrifising
-hiding my anger or deppression
-exploding like a bome after hiding them
-over reacting
-being over sensetive
-lossing my temper
-loving things or people more than they deserve
-not acting fast in shocks
-being kind
-being mean
-zanana
-bashbat besor3a
-hating my self sometimes

Some ppl pass through ur life leaving a strange feeling inside of u , that makes u search for them all ur life...that person who left u up and made u toch the stars.
that is y we have an empty space in our hearts...waiting for him to fill it up. but sometimes we stop and think... when r u gonna come? missed u big time.
then you keep cry for his absence..cry for how u feel lonely in this , while many friends and family are around you...
but there is just tht thing tht still missing inside u, u miss the feeling of stroking ur head gently , or a soft kiss on ur forehead.
some whispers in ur ears " hey, it's ok now ", " i'm here"..."shhh i don't wanna c ur tears, though u look beautifull when u cry".
u think about all these thoughts in the late night , while ur looking out side ur window.
wipe your tears then go to sleep and your mind is still thinking...

As i discoverd tht i'm annoying person who likes to get many many things i thought of writing down all the things i wish to have one day or another....

- Nokia 7373 (tht mobile was made for me =D )
- a new bow and some strings for my violen
- a new bag for my violen
- blue high lights in my hair
- meshray rashed Cd's (all the holly Quraan ones)
- pulp fiction movie
- the wall movie (pink floyed's)
- a new chair with wheels for my desk
- some nice designing programs (for layouts and so)
- angles and demons (by: dan brown)
- some sweet valleyhigh's stories
- desiny's cartoons (hope to get all of them , i have just some..i adore cartoons yay)
- buttercup slippers
- all rocky's movies
- laklok or kloklo...i don't wht's called but it's tht slippers u wear while ur sleeping to cover ur legs lol
- play station 2 (my dream)
- kick boxing gloves
- kick boxing sand box
- a new roller blades (mine r too small now and i miss skatting)
- yuna's doll
- a jansport bag
- a pink sunglasses
- a pink eyeglasses
- a silver braclet with my name onit
- a blue citroeen C3 car

maybe i'll add some more

I hate it when people leave without saying they will...1st they attract u to them then....bye bye without saying it...that the most thing i hate coz i'm easily attracted to others , and hang on deeply...it's maybe a good thing maybe not...
i think it's not, coz as i said i hate it when they just vanish...then all of a sudden they apear again , i know they might be busy or so...but 5 mins isn't so hard to make esp. if they do care abt you.
some ppl did tht to me...and now i don't talk with them any more, i have my reasons and ways as they had theirs.
plz if someone wanna leave , just say so don't leave me hanging with no clue wondering wht's wrong or if u died or wht! coz i really get worried.
tht's not so hard to ask for is it ?

Wht i won from teenstuff boards was a larg group of friends , caring , loving and everything u can want in friendship =), no it's not just words...but they shinned my life in a way.
i know they rn't younger than me so much...but i feel tht i'm responsible for all of them...they became a part of my life,as if they were my family...tht's y i feel i must take care of them as much as i can...always be there whenever they needed me...they r not just friends (sounds weird, yes)...but as i said they filled up my life...maybe coz i never had a little bro or sis..mostly i was the youngest among my friends and family....
i'm really glad whenever i'm with them, and so happy tht they love me too , they always make me smile and cheer me up without knowing i'm upset =).
it's a gr8 feeling coz now i know tht when i die , there will be some ppl who will remember me forever.they r some of the best ppl ever =) and i'm lucky.
once i was told from a friend tht, i touch ppl's heart and leave a sign in them forever =) tht i was so sweet of him, i hope it can be true.
i thank God for giving me this...in fact i always love to say a do3a2 in my prayers tht make me calm and happy it says" Allahum 2erzokny 7obak wa 7ob man 2a7abk wa 7ob 3amlen yokrebony el 7obak", and i feel tht this prayer is answered =)
Thank you God.