Me…I'm one of those people who think that bad luck is their only companion, especially yesterday I felt so bad and started hating myself. that's what I usually do…I torture my self, I always find it so easy to blame me even for things that I have nothing to do with it, and I find joy and satisfaction every time I hurt my self mentally or physically. Even thought the blood caused by the physical pain, the mental one caused more deep scars in the heart.
Many times I've asked myself…why on earth anyone would commit suicide. How can any one do such thing? This is one way to end up a problem, but no one looked or searched enough for the other ways, at least there can be a happy ending.
………………………………………………….
The two sides of the Pepsi can
Long ago we had a theory of the tow sides of the glass of water, half full and half empty, it's simplify the way you look at your life.
As I adore Pepsi I decided to call it the "Pepsi can theory"…….. to be continued
Sunday, February 08, 2009
Thursday, February 05, 2009
Random thought -3-
At work
two more hours and i'm gone! can't wait till i leave it forever, i better make it soon. i just need your prayers and your prayers =D.
seriosuly
i hate routen
i come at 9 am...make me some coffee, then sit and receive the emails, print them, send them by fax...answer some calls...make some calls...then eat...then sit infront of the laptop for hours thinking of anything to do so time can pass.
i wait
and wait
i write something..read a little bit
facebook
emails
answer emails
answer phone calls
then wait
and wait...
few hours...
5:50 i close the laptop and clean my disk, put my stuff in the purse and wait at the door till it's 6pm!!!!!!
and HIT IT OFF TO HOME
God HELP
two more hours and i'm gone! can't wait till i leave it forever, i better make it soon. i just need your prayers and your prayers =D.
seriosuly
i hate routen
i come at 9 am...make me some coffee, then sit and receive the emails, print them, send them by fax...answer some calls...make some calls...then eat...then sit infront of the laptop for hours thinking of anything to do so time can pass.
i wait
and wait
i write something..read a little bit
emails
answer emails
answer phone calls
then wait
and wait...
few hours...
5:50 i close the laptop and clean my disk, put my stuff in the purse and wait at the door till it's 6pm!!!!!!
and HIT IT OFF TO HOME
God HELP
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Random thought -2-
Ever thought of leaving egypt?
I might do, in fact I'm planning to go somewhere else, my aunt is in London and my eldest sister will travel to KSA in few months.
I've thought of starting a new life where I can build myself, I know you'd probably say.." you can still do the same here", but sometimes we need to run away from everything and start over one more time at least to clear your mind.
Still, life wont be so easy especially if I went to London I'll have a problem with my veil, and if I went to KSA I'll have a problem with being egyptian lol.
I'm dreaming of making my masters degree, I want to learn, DO and breathe journalism until I open my magazine.
Apparently, I'll feel homesick, it's not easy to leave everything behind, my friends , family , life , air , home…
Now I can imagine myself…
I'll b missing everything even the tok tok boys…
I'll miss the bad things I used to hate as I'll miss the lovely, sweet things.
I'll miss myself being there
I'll miss every single place I went to.
And of course I'll keep hearing my favorite dalida's songs, 7elwa ya balady – salma ya salama and a7san nas… shereen's song " mashrebtesh men nelha" and latifa's " 3ash2ana". I'll listen to them every now and then till my eyes look like two wety ping bong balls.
All of this is just a thought
p.s: I'm thinking of releasing my 1st poetry book
I might do, in fact I'm planning to go somewhere else, my aunt is in London and my eldest sister will travel to KSA in few months.
I've thought of starting a new life where I can build myself, I know you'd probably say.." you can still do the same here", but sometimes we need to run away from everything and start over one more time at least to clear your mind.
Still, life wont be so easy especially if I went to London I'll have a problem with my veil, and if I went to KSA I'll have a problem with being egyptian lol.
I'm dreaming of making my masters degree, I want to learn, DO and breathe journalism until I open my magazine.
Apparently, I'll feel homesick, it's not easy to leave everything behind, my friends , family , life , air , home…
Now I can imagine myself…
I'll b missing everything even the tok tok boys…
I'll miss the bad things I used to hate as I'll miss the lovely, sweet things.
I'll miss myself being there
I'll miss every single place I went to.
And of course I'll keep hearing my favorite dalida's songs, 7elwa ya balady – salma ya salama and a7san nas… shereen's song " mashrebtesh men nelha" and latifa's " 3ash2ana". I'll listen to them every now and then till my eyes look like two wety ping bong balls.
All of this is just a thought
p.s: I'm thinking of releasing my 1st poetry book
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
Change the channel
I read about something called change the channel, where all bloggers are suppose to write positive posts about Egypt.
I thought it would be nice if I joined too, but I realized I haven't written any negative posts about Egypt from the first place to write a positive one.
Egypt as a country isn't bad, in fact the people of the country are the only one who can give a bad or a good image for their country, culture or religion.
So we'd find that the main problem is in the people themselves, still people are not the same so we can not judge a whole nation for some of them even if these "some" are pretty much!
I admit that most of Egyptian movies really SUCK between every 10 movies only 2 or 1.
All of them have the same theme (which shows every single bad thing in Egypt), it's not a problem to indicate our negatives…but what's the point??? We already know what's going on! Maybe we should indicate solutions for our problems or the positive things so people can have some hope! On the bright side we came up with new genres of movies which are silly comedy / repeated tragedy and fake action =D
It's frustrating…
i actually prefer the social comedy movies like ahmed helmy's style….he's a genius who worth a " hats off"
that's it I'm done writing today
I thought it would be nice if I joined too, but I realized I haven't written any negative posts about Egypt from the first place to write a positive one.
Egypt as a country isn't bad, in fact the people of the country are the only one who can give a bad or a good image for their country, culture or religion.
So we'd find that the main problem is in the people themselves, still people are not the same so we can not judge a whole nation for some of them even if these "some" are pretty much!
I admit that most of Egyptian movies really SUCK between every 10 movies only 2 or 1.
All of them have the same theme (which shows every single bad thing in Egypt), it's not a problem to indicate our negatives…but what's the point??? We already know what's going on! Maybe we should indicate solutions for our problems or the positive things so people can have some hope! On the bright side we came up with new genres of movies which are silly comedy / repeated tragedy and fake action =D
It's frustrating…
i actually prefer the social comedy movies like ahmed helmy's style….he's a genius who worth a " hats off"
that's it I'm done writing today
Sunday, February 01, 2009
A sudden happieness group of events
in only few days....
one of my best relatives got married
my antimate 2erayet *engagement this month isA*
my sister's sister in law *one of my best gurls* 2erayet fat7a
and finaly.....
one of my BEST friends was engaged!!!!
lolollllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyy
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew
u ROCK on GUURRRRRRRRLS
3o2bal my other best gurls ya raaaaaaaaab
one of my best relatives got married
my antimate 2erayet *engagement this month isA*
my sister's sister in law *one of my best gurls* 2erayet fat7a
and finaly.....
one of my BEST friends was engaged!!!!
lolollllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyy
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew
u ROCK on GUURRRRRRRRLS
3o2bal my other best gurls ya raaaaaaaaab
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Random thought -1-
I'm supposed to start my career as a real journalist, but I'm not sure what I can write about. What would really attract the audience?
I'm not into politics or sports and I find celebrities' gossips are pretty lame.
I'm more into writing about the daily life, the life of youth, kids and even grown ups.
I'd like to write about people, relationships and social life.
Me as a reader I'd prefer to read things that can go straight to the heart and touches a part of me and give me the feeling of " oh! It's pretty close to how I really feel now".
Like when you see a movie and say " that is so me!".
I'm still confused from where to start…I need brain storming
I'm not into politics or sports and I find celebrities' gossips are pretty lame.
I'm more into writing about the daily life, the life of youth, kids and even grown ups.
I'd like to write about people, relationships and social life.
Me as a reader I'd prefer to read things that can go straight to the heart and touches a part of me and give me the feeling of " oh! It's pretty close to how I really feel now".
Like when you see a movie and say " that is so me!".
I'm still confused from where to start…I need brain storming
Monday, January 26, 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Being old isn't fun =( i really miss my colg days even the bad worst ones...atleast i was with my friends.. i feel so lonely and when i'm bk to home i cry like a baby who doesn't want to go to school again.
i want my colg days bk =( i want to work hard and have no time to sleep, study at my friend's house and meet up in the morning befor the exam...
i grew up so fast
i want my colg days bk =( i want to work hard and have no time to sleep, study at my friend's house and meet up in the morning befor the exam...
i grew up so fast
Thursday, January 08, 2009
Sunday, December 28, 2008
=( it's too bad to start a new year so much pain and tears...what happeneds in gaza tears up the heart..
i hate it when i see it on TV it makes me feel i wanna jumb into the screen and scream at everyone..i also found out tht many ppl r killed around the world but we don't know anything abt them..
this disgrace humanity
no one deserves to die no matter how bad or good they were..
sometimes i hate the fact tht i'm a human being, so far all i do is tht i stand , watch, write and pray..
i hope i can be forgiven for tht
Rabena ye3enhom...it's so hard to live in such fear, the fear of sleeping and never wake up and the fear of losing a beloved one infornt of u...
God be with u gaza ='(
i wish the new yr wouldn't b much full of blood
i hate it when i see it on TV it makes me feel i wanna jumb into the screen and scream at everyone..i also found out tht many ppl r killed around the world but we don't know anything abt them..
this disgrace humanity
no one deserves to die no matter how bad or good they were..
sometimes i hate the fact tht i'm a human being, so far all i do is tht i stand , watch, write and pray..
i hope i can be forgiven for tht
Rabena ye3enhom...it's so hard to live in such fear, the fear of sleeping and never wake up and the fear of losing a beloved one infornt of u...
God be with u gaza ='(
i wish the new yr wouldn't b much full of blood
Thursday, December 25, 2008
life is one big damn lie, it's funny how ppl simply walk away they would do ANYTHING to stab you from your back and lol abt it..and there is only one time "choice":
- bend and beg and be pathetic loser
- be cold harsh and tough and don't give a damn..nothing really maters
- get over it with no comment and shut up for the rest of ur life
- hate ur self forver and keep regreting tht u were even born!
- be in an endless confussion...which one u should pick
i'm totally messed up :s and now out of my mind
- bend and beg and be pathetic loser
- be cold harsh and tough and don't give a damn..nothing really maters
- get over it with no comment and shut up for the rest of ur life
- hate ur self forver and keep regreting tht u were even born!
- be in an endless confussion...which one u should pick
i'm totally messed up :s and now out of my mind
Thursday, December 18, 2008
The fake princess of fake
You build your own castle of sand
Full of all your dreams and thoughts
Out there you sit on your throne
You sit there all alone
The princess of fake
There she hides in her fantasy world
Behind the broken hearts
Beyond the hopeless dreams
The castle is empty,
Nothing but a garden
With the trees of black roses
And her teary, blooded sea
The place is full of solitude
She doesn't let anyone in
She doesn't show her weakness
She only shows her faking strength
Laying down under the rain
With her head under her hands
Letting no one to feel her pain
Carrying her sorrow on her back
She seems fine and everything is alright
While she's hurt and broken inside
On her throne where no one can see her
She bends and cries all night
The princess of fake
There she hides in her fantasy world
Behind the broken hearts
Beyond the hopeless dreams
She broke the habit one day
She decided to end it her way
She fell apart in her teary sea
And that was her last note
Signed as "the princess of fake"
Me…
* now i'm back on the poetry track...i just wrote tht today..and so glad i did*
You build your own castle of sand
Full of all your dreams and thoughts
Out there you sit on your throne
You sit there all alone
The princess of fake
There she hides in her fantasy world
Behind the broken hearts
Beyond the hopeless dreams
The castle is empty,
Nothing but a garden
With the trees of black roses
And her teary, blooded sea
The place is full of solitude
She doesn't let anyone in
She doesn't show her weakness
She only shows her faking strength
Laying down under the rain
With her head under her hands
Letting no one to feel her pain
Carrying her sorrow on her back
She seems fine and everything is alright
While she's hurt and broken inside
On her throne where no one can see her
She bends and cries all night
The princess of fake
There she hides in her fantasy world
Behind the broken hearts
Beyond the hopeless dreams
She broke the habit one day
She decided to end it her way
She fell apart in her teary sea
And that was her last note
Signed as "the princess of fake"
Me…
* now i'm back on the poetry track...i just wrote tht today..and so glad i did*
Sunday, December 14, 2008
i've always thought tht writing is the best way to deal with shocks maybe tht's y most of my poems and thoughts r full of sadness..
it's the 1st time now tht i can't deal with a shock, i found my self so out of words like a numb person.
sometimes we wish tht we'd die or tht we were never born...and tht's how i feel.
it's the 1st time now tht i can't deal with a shock, i found my self so out of words like a numb person.
sometimes we wish tht we'd die or tht we were never born...and tht's how i feel.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
how would it feel like..
when u read in the news tht someone died in a terrible accident.
u remain stunned for a while..and u find ur self crying...and u go like" oh! tht girl was my friend at school'
we weren't so close friends...but we were friends enough tht i still have some memories.
---------------------------------------
y do ppl keep talking even after the person's death?, y can't we realize tht it's not us who should judge, it's God ppl!!!!! so leave the judging alone... who we are to say tht this person deserves to die and tht person doesn't!
GET A LIFE!
maybe she was good..and maybe she was bad, i don't care!...all i know is tht she was a human..a girl who went to my same school..and who was in my same class for 3 yrs.
انا لله و انا اليه راجعون
و حسبى الله و نعمه الوكيل
God rest ur soul heba...i'm praying for u with my heart
when u read in the news tht someone died in a terrible accident.
u remain stunned for a while..and u find ur self crying...and u go like" oh! tht girl was my friend at school'
we weren't so close friends...but we were friends enough tht i still have some memories.
---------------------------------------
y do ppl keep talking even after the person's death?, y can't we realize tht it's not us who should judge, it's God ppl!!!!! so leave the judging alone... who we are to say tht this person deserves to die and tht person doesn't!
GET A LIFE!
maybe she was good..and maybe she was bad, i don't care!...all i know is tht she was a human..a girl who went to my same school..and who was in my same class for 3 yrs.
انا لله و انا اليه راجعون
و حسبى الله و نعمه الوكيل
God rest ur soul heba...i'm praying for u with my heart
Monday, November 24, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
it feels like i'm alone in a dark room with one tiny candle that glows and glooms at the same time..can anything carries a contradict to itself?
sitting at the corner with my hands on head...i can't feel more words..that's y i don't rit.
my soul is slowly turning numb.
i'm typing this as i close my eyes....(stop).....(think).....(can't find anything else to rit abt now)
sitting at the corner with my hands on head...i can't feel more words..that's y i don't rit.
my soul is slowly turning numb.
i'm typing this as i close my eyes....(stop).....(think).....(can't find anything else to rit abt now)
Sunday, November 16, 2008
yesterday i went to my one of my best friend's wedding, she looked awesome..the wedding was gr8...and all through the wedding my mind kept recalling our old days...
God! what such memories we had...now days and yrs passed and we disappeared...then i found us gathering in her wedding...all grown up but with the same face and the same spirit.
it was amazing to c us all through these ages...still gathering.
I really love you so much, and wish you all the happeniess in the world.
thanks for bringing us up to such a gr8 event.
seeing the 3 of us once again....was a day to be cherished.
God! what such memories we had...now days and yrs passed and we disappeared...then i found us gathering in her wedding...all grown up but with the same face and the same spirit.
it was amazing to c us all through these ages...still gathering.
I really love you so much, and wish you all the happeniess in the world.
thanks for bringing us up to such a gr8 event.
seeing the 3 of us once again....was a day to be cherished.
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