Random thought -1-

I'm supposed to start my career as a real journalist, but I'm not sure what I can write about. What would really attract the audience?
I'm not into politics or sports and I find celebrities' gossips are pretty lame.
I'm more into writing about the daily life, the life of youth, kids and even grown ups.
I'd like to write about people, relationships and social life.
Me as a reader I'd prefer to read things that can go straight to the heart and touches a part of me and give me the feeling of " oh! It's pretty close to how I really feel now".
Like when you see a movie and say " that is so me!".
I'm still confused from where to start…I need brain storming

1st tittle

now i got my tittle bar...thnx for gohary
u saved the day

Dear bloggy,

Can u imagin tht we've been 4 yrs! me and u ^^ tht's awesome..u've save loads of beautiful and sad memories

i love u =)

i'm bored

i kinda hate my job

and my mind is totally messed up!

Being old isn't fun =( i really miss my colg days even the bad worst ones...atleast i was with my friends.. i feel so lonely and when i'm bk to home i cry like a baby who doesn't want to go to school again.
i want my colg days bk =( i want to work hard and have no time to sleep, study at my friend's house and meet up in the morning befor the exam...
i grew up so fast

I think i made a hig score yesterday...i cried from 5:30 pm till 1am!...

=( it's too bad to start a new year so much pain and tears...what happeneds in gaza tears up the heart..
i hate it when i see it on TV it makes me feel i wanna jumb into the screen and scream at everyone..i also found out tht many ppl r killed around the world but we don't know anything abt them..
this disgrace humanity
no one deserves to die no matter how bad or good they were..
sometimes i hate the fact tht i'm a human being, so far all i do is tht i stand , watch, write and pray..
i hope i can be forgiven for tht
Rabena ye3enhom...it's so hard to live in such fear, the fear of sleeping and never wake up and the fear of losing a beloved one infornt of u...

God be with u gaza ='(

i wish the new yr wouldn't b much full of blood

life is one big damn lie, it's funny how ppl simply walk away they would do ANYTHING to stab you from your back and lol abt it..and there is only one time "choice":

- bend and beg and be pathetic loser
- be cold harsh and tough and don't give a damn..nothing really maters
- get over it with no comment and shut up for the rest of ur life
- hate ur self forver and keep regreting tht u were even born!
- be in an endless confussion...which one u should pick

i'm totally messed up :s and now out of my mind

The fake princess of fake

You build your own castle of sand
Full of all your dreams and thoughts
Out there you sit on your throne
You sit there all alone

The princess of fake
There she hides in her fantasy world
Behind the broken hearts
Beyond the hopeless dreams

The castle is empty,
Nothing but a garden
With the trees of black roses
And her teary, blooded sea

The place is full of solitude
She doesn't let anyone in
She doesn't show her weakness
She only shows her faking strength

Laying down under the rain
With her head under her hands
Letting no one to feel her pain
Carrying her sorrow on her back

She seems fine and everything is alright
While she's hurt and broken inside
On her throne where no one can see her
She bends and cries all night

The princess of fake
There she hides in her fantasy world
Behind the broken hearts
Beyond the hopeless dreams

She broke the habit one day
She decided to end it her way
She fell apart in her teary sea
And that was her last note
Signed as "the princess of fake"
Me…


* now i'm back on the poetry track...i just wrote tht today..and so glad i did*

i've always thought tht writing is the best way to deal with shocks maybe tht's y most of my poems and thoughts r full of sadness..
it's the 1st time now tht i can't deal with a shock, i found my self so out of words like a numb person.
sometimes we wish tht we'd die or tht we were never born...and tht's how i feel.

how would it feel like..
when u read in the news tht someone died in a terrible accident.
u remain stunned for a while..and u find ur self crying...and u go like" oh! tht girl was my friend at school'
we weren't so close friends...but we were friends enough tht i still have some memories.
---------------------------------------
y do ppl keep talking even after the person's death?, y can't we realize tht it's not us who should judge, it's God ppl!!!!! so leave the judging alone... who we are to say tht this person deserves to die and tht person doesn't!
GET A LIFE!

maybe she was good..and maybe she was bad, i don't care!...all i know is tht she was a human..a girl who went to my same school..and who was in my same class for 3 yrs.

انا لله و انا اليه راجعون
و حسبى الله و نعمه الوكيل

God rest ur soul heba...i'm praying for u with my heart

My talking bothers ppl
my silence bothers ppl
tht's y i wish to vanish
y can't you b there without asking for the reasons?
y can't u answer the questions ur accusing me with?

it feels like i'm alone in a dark room with one tiny candle that glows and glooms at the same time..can anything carries a contradict to itself?
sitting at the corner with my hands on head...i can't feel more words..that's y i don't rit.
my soul is slowly turning numb.
i'm typing this as i close my eyes....(stop).....(think).....(can't find anything else to rit abt now)

yesterday i went to my one of my best friend's wedding, she looked awesome..the wedding was gr8...and all through the wedding my mind kept recalling our old days...
God! what such memories we had...now days and yrs passed and we disappeared...then i found us gathering in her wedding...all grown up but with the same face and the same spirit.
it was amazing to c us all through these ages...still gathering.
I really love you so much, and wish you all the happeniess in the world.
thanks for bringing us up to such a gr8 event.

seeing the 3 of us once again....was a day to be cherished.

we can be our worst enemies and those are the ones we can't defeat.
the conflict btween our inner selves is never seatled down...

sometimes it's better not to talk abt wht bothers you, it might coz more problem..it might hurt someone
so u'd better b in ur own pain forever niether healed nor forgotten. maybe by days u'll get over it, it's only a matter of time.
it's not love tht can only hurt...but sometimes friendship's love can b even harder.
God! i'm still in my babling mood..




p.s: God knows how much i miss you.

i'm not into politics but yyaaayy for Obama

now the world is a bit darker in my eyes..either it went wrong, or i'm the one who got it all wrong from the start.
now we r crumbling.....
i never thought it would hppened tht fast...or even happened this way.
i swear i tried...everything i could, but ur still drifting away and slipping my hands from yours.
you should have told me from the start
that you'll leave me with a broken heart.

nothing still the same, everyday we loss someone in some way...everything change around me including me...life still hurts and ppl still break our hearts.
i stop for a while and think...where did i go wrong?
i am a demanding , irritating and sometimes even boring...
i'm sorry....
maybe it's better to leave everyone alone...maybe it's time to step aside to make no more damage...everyone's happy in his own path...
i admit i can't accept some facts....i can't shut up and just watch
so my existence wont make things any good...wont mean alot
i was wrong...as uasual....
life is still life...
and i'm still babling

I can be out of my mind especially when I'm alone, yesterday when I was about to cross the street going back home, I found myself standing for a while I just kept staring at the cars moving so fast. There was that taxi coming far away…I have no idea y I kept standing waiting till it's closer and I wondered "am I going to make it to the other side?"…I was like hypnotized or paralyzed.

So as the taxi was so close…I started running to the other side…feeling the pumping of adrenaline in my veins and sweating although it was cold…and the fast sound of lupdub.

Hopefully I made it safely to the other side of the street *Thank God* and I heard to sounds…one like a human voice saying" u nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuts" and the other was the taxi horn which went along with the voice " beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeb !".

I have no idea what was I thinking! Probably not killing myself, maybe I was only encouraging myself to save the money and buy a car or I thought about avril lavigne's song "nothing but ordinary" where she said "sometimes I drive so fast just to fear the danger" I wasn't really driving…but running is close too

Well isA I'll get the car in few months I won't need to do this again *I hope*