Just like every other day i wake up only not in a my best moods and i don't know why so, maybe coz i'm sick and my throat is really killing me or maybe coz i feel bit like a loser.
i want to cry so hard but my tears rn't coming out so sat down a little and turned some songs on...some islamic songs actually and as i heard tht song i couldn't hold my tears any more and i found myself crying as if i smelled a huge onion and as the songs repeats i found myself crying and crying again a non-stop crying with no reason...but eventually it made me better, the song is really awesome...by " meshary al 3arada"

مشاري العرادة
غربتي

بك يا زمان اللهو أشكو غربتي
إن كانت الشكوى تداوي مهجتي
قلبي تساوره الهموم توجها
ويزيد همي إن خلوت بظلمتي
يا قلب إني قد أتيتك ناصحاً
فأربأ بنفسك أن تقودك محنتي
أن الغريب سقته أيام الأسى
كأس المرارة في سنين الظلمة
واغربتي
**********
قد كان نومي هانئا فوق الثرى
من غير شكوى أو عزول شامت
من غير هم بالزمان وكربه
من غير إسهاد يشتت راحتي
اهاهاهاه
************

أنا في ابتساماتي عرفت ولم أزل
حتى أتاني ما ينغص بسمتي
إن أسعفتني دمعتي في فرحتي
أنزلتها طرباً لأرسم بهجتي
أو اسعفتني في البكاء مرارة
تتسابق العبرات تهجر مقلتي
واليوم أفرغ دمع عيني بالبكاء
ندماً على ما كان مني ويلتي
جفت دموعي من فواجع ما أراه
لكن صبري في الشدائد قوتي
واليوم أفرغ دمع عيني بالبكاء
ندماً على ما كان مني ويلتي
جفت دموعي من فواجع ما أراه
لكن صبري في الشدائد قوتي
اهاهاهاه

I'm happy yet crying and i don't have an idea why am i....maybe i feel a bit disappointed about my self...or maybe coz i wished for more..there is still a chance so may God helpme isA...=) elhamdolelah..Qadr Allah wa masha2 fa3al...

i am happy =)

10....9...8...7...

nothing is better than a night meditation, clearing my stressed mind and loaded brain...i hope it work this time and i wont fall asleep.

now start counting slowly

10...9....8....

lots of thoughts start to run through my mind...like running pages of a photo album. now some memories cross along and run with the thoughts.

what happened today, what happened yesterday and what will happened tomorrow.

no! i want to clear my mind...

7..6...5.....

still thinking, wht if...tht or this and still more photos , my life is really upside down. i want to relax! and stop thinking...let's continue...

4..3.....

some old childhood memories all flashed in black and white..am i tht old ? things i've done and things i've shouldn't have done.. nnnooo just stop!

STOP!!!!!

3....2...2...2.........

sl..ee...................p

"All That I Need"

"I was lost and alone

Trying to grow,

making my way down that long winding road

Had no reason, no rhyme

Like a song out of time

And there you were, standing in front of my eyes

How could I be such a fool

To let go of love and break all the rules"

"I was searching in vain

Playing a game

Had no-one else but myself left to blame

You came into my world

No diamonds or pearls

Could ever replace what you gave to me

Just like a castle of sand

I almost let love slip right out of my hands

And just like a flower needs rain

I will stand by your side

through the joy and the pain"

At the age of 8...i started writing my diaries

At the age of 9.... i got my 1st dog "Spicy"

At the age of 10.... dad bought us a computer

At the age of 11....i wrote my 1st poem

At the age of 11.... i got my Violen

At the age of 12....i had my 1st crush

At the age of 13.... i wore my veil

At the age of 14.... i stoped shaking hands

At the age of 15.... i had my 1st true best friend

At the age of 15....i changed my clothes style

At the age of 16....i decided to change

At the age of 16....i learnt driving

At the age of 17....i entered colg

At the age of 17.... teenstuff published my poem for nirvana

At the age of 17.... i experienced love

At the age of 18.... i joined teenstuff boards

At the age of 19... i joined Istihbal as a bassist

At the age of 19....i moved to 6 october

At the age of 19...i had my 1st performance on stage as a bassist

At the age of 20...i'm graduated from colg

At the age of 21....i got my 1st amazing bass