littleالحاجات الـ

some ppl can hate me for saying so...but actually i'm not so excited abt turning 21...maybe coz i don't feel any actual progress in my life so far.....i don't know sometimes i feel i hate myself and wish i was never born maybe coz i can't feel i'm good enf to worth living, i know i shouldn't be saying tht...coz every creature is worth living...but i just feel so helpless and weak..afraid of can't reach wht i'm living for...i know my nafs (spirit) is nafs lawama, so i keep worrying abt every step i take...it kills me sometimes...
i guess i'm only worried abt the natiga...forget my babling...i should try and enjoy the day and look forward to wht's coming up in my life...and wish from my heart tht it wont pass like the others...useless

اللهم لا تكلنى الى نفسى طرفة عين و لا اقل من ذلك فان وكلتنى الى وكلتنى الى عيب و نقص و ان وكلتنى اليك وكلتنى الى ركنن شديد و انت يا ربى ركنى الشديد