So close....no matter how far

That spiritual moment... submission
"Sujud" has always been my favorite part of praying, it makes me feel that i'm falling down between Allah's hands wishing for what ever i want or asking for his mercy and forgiveness. i feel very close to God in sujud and when i'm sad i cry deeply from my heart and i feel his watching me telling my that things will be better soon, stroking me telling me he is here for me.

That powerful moment....Love
No one will love you more than your parents that's a fact ,you will always love what you feel is a part of you or what you create with your own hands.On a larger scale ,as i said before in the relationship between God and his creatures no one will love us more than Allah. Even parents don't give their children all what they want, they ask them to wait and surprise them with a better thing, sometimes they punish them when they do something wrong and they always forgive them when they run crying back to them.
And after all the mistakes we do...he still loves us =).
when God loves someone he fills up his life that he becomes his ear he is listening with, his sight he is seeing with and his mouth he is speaking with as he said in this hadith:

عن ابي هريرة قال:عن الرسول صلى الله عليه و سلم قال: ان الله قال وَمَا يَزَالُ عَبْدِي يَتَقَرَّبُ إِلَيَّ بِالنَّوَافِلِ

 حَتَّى أُحِبَّهُ فَإِذَا أَحْبَبْتُهُ كُنْتُ سَمْعَهُ الَّذِي يَسْمَعُ بِهِ وَبَصَرَهُ الَّذِي يُبْصِرُ بِهِ وَيَدَهُ الَّتِي يَبْطِشُ بِهَا وَرِجْلَهُ الَّتِي 

يَمْشِي بِهَا وَإِنْ سَأَلَنِي لأُعْطِيَنَّهُ وَلَئِنْ اسْتَعَاذَنِي لأُعِيذَنَّهُ وَمَا تَرَدَّدْتُ عَنْ شَيْءٍ أَنَا فَاعِلُهُ تَرَدُّدِي عَنْ نَفْسِ 

الْمُؤْمِنِ يَكْرَهُ الْمَوْتَ وَأَنَا أَكْرَهُ مَسَاءَتَهُ " رواه البخاري  

So close no matter how far.....ya Allah
Allah is always close to us no matter how far we are from him
 وإذا سألك عبادي عني فإني قريب he's even closer than our jugular vein 

 وَنَحْنُ أَقْرَبُ إِلَيْهِ مِنْ حَبْلِ الْوَرِيدِ  سورة ق  

we pray, to be closer to Allah, talk to him and show him our love through doa'a and tasbee'h, when you have no one else and no where else to go to, just bend and put your self between his hands, he is always there waiting for you.

يقول الله تعالى في الحديث القدسي : "إني والإنس 

والجن في نبأ عظيم ، أخلق ويُعبد غيري ، أرزق 

ويُشكر سواي. خيري إلى العباد نازل ، وشرّهم 

إليّ صاعد ، أتودد إليهم بالنعم وأنا الغني عنهم ويتبغّضون إليّ بالمعاصي وهم أفقر ما يكونون إليّ أهل ذكري أهل مجالستي ، من أراد أن يُجالسني فليذكرني . أهل طاعتي أهل محبتي . أهل معصيتي لا أقنطهم من رحمتي ، إن تابوا إليّ فأنا حبيبهم ، وإن أبَوا فأنا طبيبهم ، أبتليهم بالمصائب لأطهّرهم من المعايب ، من أتاني منهم تائباً تلقّيته من بعيد ، ومن أعرض عني ناديته من قريب ، أقول له : أين تذهب ؟ ألك رب سواي الحسنة عندي بعشرة أمثالها وأزيد ، والسيئة عندي بمثلها وأعفو ، وعزتي وجلالي لو استغفروني منها لغفرتها لهم"

Random Thoughts

My 1^st clash with the real world is when I was 16 years old, i was young and thought that people are exactly like how my parents taught me.

I was shocked with reality knowing that most of them if not all of them are fake, typically like clowns with different faces and different moods and only the smart clowns are those who play their roles right infront of the others. My white page started to be spotted with black and every time I get exposed to the world these spots get bigger and bigger.

It was hard to see all of this and it was hard to hold on to my values in this grisly world. I struggled and still struggling trying to tell myself that I am right maybe I fed up of proving it to others but, I'm still holding it on to myself.

It feels like a small tiny fish in the ocean, I try to find my way out through this drama and mostly I just go round and round in circles with no end.

My mind is getting crazy, I wont be surprised if I ended up one day in a mental hospital, who knows maybe it’s the real world out there..